I just realised that... I think I've become.... VERY FAT.. esp my belly.... eeew.. I feel so disgusted looking at myself in the mirror.

Granny's shifted over to stay with my uncle and family @ YewTee... So near yet so far... Feels awkward without having her around liao leh....

Gotten my mid-year bonus... slightly more than expected... Rewarded myself with a Dior LipColor, and make ups... I super love make ups... !
And a hair rebonding some time soon I hope.

He's planning for our new house. I'm excited !

Feeling.... excited.

At least... I can see our relationship going somewhere... Yeah.. I know it sure is kinda fast. But .. I think .. I'm very sure bout this feeling.

Thursday is PAY DAY.. I'm always excited bout pay days. Cos it means money credited into my bank ! And... this June.. Its more money! Its Monthly salry + Bonus ... Calculated about 2.5K... plus minus...

And aft I get pay... I'm gotta pamper myself with some make up... a perfume for thommy, and Me... money to my parents... and... save some bit. haha.

$$$ I so excited $$$

We're going Thailand soon.. I'm excited... I love Shopping... I haven try massage...
I haven try so many things with thomas.. We're gonna get married, we're gonna go apply for house .. haahah I love Thomas.

I was Surprised !! Today 's the June 16th !
Our Own Valentines day.. hahah ... a random date, just belongs to us.

Hahah.. Gosh... I was surprised with Flower delivery from Thomas ! ... Hahaha... My silly Thomas.

" Thomas Hubby... Thanks for the BIG BIG surprise ! " Gosh.. I so love it.. I love nice surprises...
Your 2nd Surprise for me... when will be the 3rd ??

First was Ice-cream, then now, Flowers, next will be.. Ring ??

I love You !

Feeling.... Tired.

Parents quarreling out there. They're constantly on arguements. I guess.. that's also a reason to why I'm so afraid of marriage.

It's not your fault Baby, Its nobody's fault. I want to forget the past. I am trying. The bad scar left behind...
I was happy... you are willing to go see rings with me. To want to get house. That you want to marry me. I was happy.
But... Maybe... ya... we better not rush into plans so soon. Still young.

I told you almost everything, anything. I guess I never dare to mention to you,
-how badly I want to wear on a beautiful white wedding gown, to walk down the aisle, and receive the Sacrament of Marriage with the one I love ?
-How much I envy people goes to church every Sunday morning as a family?
-How I was so jealous of Audrey and Cousins cos they could attend mass with their family, and I am always alone ?
-About me didn't dare to tell mommy that I know all those will not happen, because she was concern. and that Granny will not be happy if she know that either.
It all boils down to religion, I guess you'll never want to know..

I know its kinda impossible... I wont hope for miracles. I dont wannt type liao. I give up le.... Take a step each ba.

==========--------------------==========

Audrey,
believe that your true love will come by someday, meanwhile just love yourself as much as you want your true love to love you.

"Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not................"
this is what we were taught During Sunday Class and in church.
God made Eve for Adam. You'll have your partner too. Dont be despair.

Dont waste time with the wrong ones, you can spend quality time on other stuff. and you can call me whenever you need me. thats what friends are there for, whatsmore, we have gone thru' 16 years together.